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All files in .WAV format. Mac users, please download SoundApp or use Quicktime to play the WAVs.

  • Michael demonstrates the proper way to pronounce "turgid." 20k.

  • Michael retells the Little Sweep tale and quotes the part of the cruel older sweeps, "Up the chimney, up you go!", 232k.

  • I believe this is MC imitating John Lennon: "Smash me to fragments!", 224k.

  • Michael mimics his friend's reaction to Michael's infatuation with future wife Gabrielle, including British profanity 96k.

  • MC laments the extent of years before "this head came into contact with another bosom." 644k.

  • Michael feeds his girls "nettles." 204k.

  • A naughty MC discusses a conflict of lust and faith, 196k.

  • So where are these from?

    "Parcel Arrived Safely: Tied With a String"

    Michael's autobiography is available in book form and on audio cassette. To purchase either, check out my friends at


    The gallery of images I've acquired is below, to be altered as time permits me. Please do not link directly to these images; I intend to move them in and out as I please, so any link to this server's images may turn out to be dead at any time.

    Legalese: I attempt to give credit to every photograher's work, but there are some cases where the images did not come to me with that information. If you know of any attributions I'm missing, or even have a picture to submit, please contact me.

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