When I walked into The Brazenhead I thought to myself "This must be what be what its like to hash in heaven".  There were high ceilings, natural wood and exposed beams, as opposed to the low ceilings, Natural Light beer and exposed wiring.  I saw two-time hasher and friend to Pickle JT , who said the hashers were meeting downstairs.   Surely this would be more our style.  I pictured a basement with circa 1970 paneling, Neon "Hudy" signs for ambience and the stench of yesterday's beer spills awaiting me.  To my surprise it was more of the same.  Imported Irish beer on tap and a menu you had to open.  There must have been a mistake in the erections, no Sin City Hasher would be caught dead in nice place like this.

I was thankfully mistaken, because one by one they started to arrive.  Son of a Nun showed up in his Christmas finest.  C'mon, your mom was a nun and the best you can do is a red sweatshirt ?  In the oft-stated words of Hot Tub Slut “What’s up with that?”  Speaking of The Devil, Hot Tub managed to get into the Christmas spirit with his attire.  I think it was Mormon chic. They really know how to do Christmas!  Pickle and TNT had a bit of a miscommunication each thinking the other had packed Pickle's outfit. Turns out no one did. 

Any place else TNT would have won best female costume .  But this is the hash and when choosing between a super-sexy, well thought out Mrs.Claus and a bald dude dressed up as the same, bald dude is going to win every time.  Which brings us to Porkless.  If in fact this is what Mrs. Claus looks like, I understand why Santa only cums once a year.  I was hoping to win best male costume myself but I knew I was "Screwged" when Fluffer showed up in his “Bad Santa” not “bad” Santa outfit.  It was perfect as always, right down to the black eye and Billy Bob teeth.  Screw you Fluffer, you over-achieving bastard! 

Speaking of bad Santa outfits Fat Drunk and Santa showed up in full gear.  By the looks of his costume I could only assume there was a naked unconscious homeless guy lying next to a bell and Salvation Army kettle behind the nearest Wal-Mart.  Good for you FDS!  NILF’s costume consisted of a red Santa-ish hat that may have been better suited for robbing a liquor store.  Butt Digger and Eats It were there for the prelube only and didn’t wear costumes, (This was such a shock to my camera it couldn't focus) because they felt a little under the weather. 

With as low as the weather was that put them just above dead. Of course I blame that no account, good for nothing RA for the inclement weather (He wisely didn’t hang around to take the blame). I was disappointed as Butt Digger and Eats It normally ooze Christmas Spirit but these things happen. When Happy and Just Ron arrived they were lit up like Y after the last day of school, I mean a Christmas tree. In a breach of Hashing etiquette Happy promptly stole TNT’s gloves. Blue showed up with his “this is what Santa’s skin looks like after he goes down all those chimneys” look.  He was happy to finally meet his son.  Fecal and Mount Me were there dressed like people who had the good sense NOT to bring a baby to a bar.  What kind of idiot would bring a baby to a bar anyway? 

GAR and Pubic brought an inutero photo album with them (but managed to avoid having their own picture  taken).  Which of course made those of us who have their baby's ultrasound photos rolled up and stuffed in the glove box look bad to our wives.  Thanks for that GAR! Golden went Irish Christmas, while QB thought it would be nice to wear the shirt of oppressor. Best Blow was Festive and fast as always. Who would have thought Hairless would have any scarlet....I mean red, in his closet.  The Hares were the last to arrive. Dr Jizz was Big Pimping and Y had a sort of Sugar plum fairy meets Mulan Rouge thing going on. Una went green by recycling red from past hashes and Horny, a hare, showed her spirit with a Dollar Store hat. 

At the Stroke of 6:23 we were visited by the "Ghosts of trail to come" otherwise known as Dr Jizz and his Ho Ho Ho’s .  They gave a very short chalk talk covering only the fact that one of the checks ended up looking like a Swastika (Thanks for the prelay confession Y) and they were off.  The pack waited 8 minutes, sang “Hashing Family” to scare the other patrons then took off after the hares.  It rained for the entire hash. Not hard but steady.  The first thing we noticed on trail was the large amount of flour used for hash marks. The hares had the foresight to realize they needed to go big so the hash would not be washed away but failed to realize they would run out of flour halfway through trail in doing so.

There were a couple song checks and everyone sang.... badly.   A little more running and a lot more rain and we were at the first Beer Near, a bar called Pleasure Inn (if you told them "I'm with the club" your beer was free).  There were many happenings at the bar.  Hot Tub got an award.  Elvis found his stolen plates. Someone drank for mother given name.  And Son gave free lap rides to his imaginary friends.

Remember those huge piles of flour at the beginning? Well after the Beer Near trail was marked with toilet paper, chalk and comet cleanser Y stole from the bar! You know who really liked TNT's outfit? Brambles, burs and stickers.  I know this because she was covered with them when no one else was.  The second Beer Near was at the back of the cemetery and to everyone's surprise Hot Tub actually showed up to it.  Even more of a delight was the face plant he took going down the hill after the Beer Near. 

Trail got a little fuzzy after the second Beer Near.  Some people went to the right, saw only three marks, but kept going anyway.  Most of the pack went to the left into the subdivision for some more song checks.  The first  was at a nice Victorian home, but the second was an impromptu song check at TNT's friends Linda and John.  First Happy stole TNT's gloves then Porkless stole her award and to add insult to injury he tried to steal her friends. The pack seemed to lose interest in following trail after the song checks.  As a matter of fact only three people made it to the third Beer Near between the church and the school:  Blue, Hairless and a police officer. When the police officer showed up they just calmly pushed the cooler under a Boy Scout trailer, filled their cups with water, and chatted politely until he left.  If it were me I would have tazed them but I guess cops in Mason are just wimps. 

The pack had pretty much broken up but everyone made it back and to the on after.  Hot Tub ran the circle and QB was Sergeant of Arms. I don't remember too much, I think my pneumonia was kicking in by then.  I think I remember QB nicely pointing out our Christmas Carols were lame compared to Dayton's and we politely pointed out SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

After the circle there was food, beer pong, Guitar Hero and normal hash rowdiness by all, except for Elvis and Dr Jizz. They played chess.  Not beer chess or strip chess, just chess.

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