| Saturday June 1, 2002. Hash #238. Location: Lake Isabella Park Hares: Neon Knockers, Unalicker, and Best Blow Saturday, warm, no rain, sunshine. Seemed like a great day to be hashing. Still one should pay attention to little things forgotten when in a hurry for some beer and good company. With that being said this rehash can be counted on for its accuracy and honesty for what that is worth.. The pack started rolling into Lake Isabella for a day of fun. The theme being Sucks But Doesn't Swallow and Poo Packer's Lost Wages wedding hash. The hares were busy putting on glitter to simulate the glitter of Las Vegas. Best Blow spent the time working on his biceps carrying his bag full of hash around the whole time. I guess he doesn't trust his fellow Hashers. Not that any of us would take something and hide it from another Hasher to see what happens. This concept is very foreign to me. Those attending were: Anal Vice Beat It Benz Over Best Blow Blue Balls Brown & Runny Butt Digger Cumin' N' Goin' Cums After 1st Jerk Dah Gimp Eats It Raw Fudge Tracker Got Crabs? Gourmet Heather NHN Bolton Hot Tub Slut Jeff NHN Sprague Little Hoe On The Side Little Hummer Boy Lube My Johnson Matteo NHN Mancini Mystic Blow Neon Knockers Next Time I Cum Nudy Bar Organ Grinder Pecker Checker Poo Packer SCH4nort Scooby Doo Em Scum Sucking Fecal Feeliac Sixty Nina Smegma Stacy NHN Stuck Stinky Winkie stroX coX baXwards Sucks But Doesn't Swallow The Unalicker Tight Sphincter Vommitt Dog Who Da Fuck? After milling around for awhile the circle was called to order by the hares. The Bride and Groom were called to the center of the circle, well.. off to the side, to get the usual wedding hash garb with the addition of a knapsack of goodies to numerous to mention here and a length of nylon to tie them together symbolically, which SBDS immediately removed as soon as the hares left muttering something about having to sleep with the guy but not having to be tied to him and you have to draw the line somewhere. As the Hares were explaining the marks to our two virgins Phillip and Matteo, Tight Sphincter decided to show up and drive through the circle. The marks were mostly standard for Sin City with the addition of a FC (Flowers Check), GC (Garter Check), and RC (Ring Check) all of which were required for the on trail marriage ceremony by a guest minister. After all instruction were given and the hares were off Comes After The First Jerk and myself (Fudge Tracker) quickly volunteered to do the Re-Hash to keep anyone else from this onerous task. The pack then introduced themselves to the virgins. Smegma led us in Father Abraham and Hot Tub Slut had us proclaim once again if anything happens it was his fault. When the allotted time was up the pack was off after the hares. I chose following Neon who was headed to the west end of the lake. I didn't think the hares would entrust Unalicker with something as important as true trail. Trail went to the edge of the lake where a couple of checks were found. At one point two young fisherperson's (being politically correct here) were kind enough to direct the pack in the proper direction. Trail proceeded up a bank to Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! (my best Gomer impersonation) some railroad tracks. Here a check was found along with Gourmet trying to figure out what a FC was. After explaining it and pointing out the flowers to him we started searching for true trail. I chose crossing Loveland Madera Road. Wrong, always check the tracks first when hashing! The rest of the packed searched the tracks each way finding trail going back towards the park entrance. Back through the entrance to the park we went with trail dipping down into a creek bed for about a hundred yards or so. As I exited the creek I found the smart hashers had just paralleled us on the road. The pack proceed east through a field of grass until we came to a BN, BC, and GC. More flour was expended here than the rest of the trail. SBDS arrived un-tethered again and when asked why her only comment was Poo Packer had to go to the bathroom. I guess she expected us to believe she has never seen that part of his anatomy before. Bends Over retrieved the garter from a log during the libation break. TS was complaining about the type of games planned for the campout hash. This was new for me to hear her complain about anything she is usually so introverted. HTS and a fellow hasher ( I am terrible on remembering names so forgive me for not putting it in here) showed up after we were at the BN for awhile. It seems they followed Best Blow's trail from the start to no avail. The trail from the BN was easily picked up and held to an easterly course through some more tall grass. Several checks were encountered but the trail continued straight for awhile and then veered up an embankment on the left. Being out in front for one of the first times in my hashing career I started up the slope and encountered a thorny vine draped across the trail. I collided with it and instantly felt numerous points of pain. I muttered a couple of hecky derns and moved the offending vine out of the way for those soon to follow. From here the trail entered the railroad bed again and continued east to Branch Hill Guinea Pike road where a check was laid. Guessing correctly for a change I crossed the bridge over the Little Miami and found another check across the bridge. Checking left I found a RC and located the rings. From there not expecting such a short run from the last BN I missed the hare arrow pointing to the right. Vommitt Dog found it and signaled me back to true trail which led directly to the back door of Sleepy Hollow Inn for another BN and our hares waiting patiently for us. The most noticeable comment on the interior was now everyone knows where the Christmas lights are stored for the summer. This also turned out to be the Chapel of Love for the wedding. Once again the hashers were able to quench their thirst while waiting on the betrothed. After their arrival the guest minister showed up. He was hiding in the men's room???? It was none other than Elvis (VD). TS glanced first at his crotch and was immediately concerned that he didn't have anything on under his jump suit and may have been hurting his jewels. I'm just writing what I heard. A family walked in as Elvis was mentioning the betrothed names and probably wondered what was going on. After a tear inducing ceremony during which Poo Packer slipped the garter on SBDS's leg and did not want to stop at mid thigh and Elvis had trouble reading everything because he was too hot in his outfit, the couple was serenaded with 20 Toes. Then all married on trail hash couples joined the couple on the floor for a dance. Anal & Mystic, Eats It Raw & Butt Digger,. Stinky & Sixty Nina. Once again if I missed someone Tough. Drinking, writing, and listening to whats going on was just too much at this time. Plus the fact I was whining about being in pain from my vine experience. Didn't help. I got no sympathy. Last but not least we were server PB and banana sandwiches in honor of Elvis performing the ceremony. No wonder he took drugs. To get the taste out of his mouth. From here we were informed we would all follow the hares back to the cars making as much noise as possible. It was at this point Pecker Checker showed up. We elicited many a stare on the way back to the beginning. Some drivers contributed to the din by blowing there horns. Somewhere along the road back PC suggests we let the newly wed couple finish first so they could have the honor of carrying the crutch if they make it to any more hashes this year. Somehow this got communicated to the pack and the lovely couple arrived at the cars first. When all the stragglers arrived we were told the ON IN was a mile down the road at Shady O'Grady's. I think I remember being there before. Once at the ON IN Tight Box put in an appearance so we were able to open the circle. Hares front and center. I didn't catch any trail comments as I was feverishly drinking and writing again. Hares True Blue was sung to them. Our virgins were invited into the circle for the customary welcome and down down Why Were They Born so Beautiful sung. Two visitors that I missed at the > beginning were invited into the circle. Brown and Runny from Cleveland and Nudie Bar from ???? Meet the Hashers sung.. The hares returned to the circle for crimes and the only one I got was running with the pack. Shitty Trail was sung. I may be out of sequence on some of this but Stinky drank because a virgin wore a competitive T-shirt after saying he came because of the web site. Other crimes no whistle. Blue Balls, Butt Digger, Stacey NHN, Tight Box, and Jeff NHN. Unalicker, TS, the bride and groom, and Bends Over were called for MGN. When one hare drinks all hares drink. Publicly pissed upon was sung. SBDS drank again for head gear. Analverseries: Pecker Checker 145, Eats It Raw 85 SBDS 70, Blue Balls 60 and 69A 55. Get a Life was sung. Hare Analverseries: Best Blow 20, neon Knockers 10, Unalicker drank for just being a co-hare. Birthdays: Anal, SBDS, and PC. Now this is where remembering the small things comes in. Unalicker was called into the circle for not carrying the crutch she earned at the last hash. At this point Organ Grinder with HTS's help gently reminded the hash that the crutch was stolen from Unalicker and was not brought to the hash because it was forgotten. Being the poor wretch that had picked up the crutch because it was laying on a barroom floor and I didn't want it to get lost I swiftly volunteered to do not one down down but a waterfall for being so forgetful in my old age. I also told Unalicker I should probably carry Homer for awhile to help compensate for the error in judgment. Fortunately the pack agreed my mistakes warranted it. TS and HTS drank for liking Mini-Me too much. Sally in the Alley. RA drank for rain at the BN and last but not least Heather for Auto hashing It was announced PC had gotten engagged for which he was called into the circle to drink for. It was then mentioned everyone he dated from the hash should join him in the circle. 69A, Tight Box, and Butt Digger joined him. Announcements: Next SCH4 campout weekend of June14-16. Next Dayton hash June 8. 1/4 barrel. Shiggy alert. The bride and groom were welcomed back into the circle for a champagne toast and then the circle was closed. Finally!! The note taking was interfering with my drinking. A couple of little side notes on different conversations that took place. Tight Box has confirmed that her name cane be loosened some for the right man and SCH4nort's goal for the year is to get laid. Little Ho' on the Side finally found out what her real name is. I hope I got it right. One last note. The circle was opened once again when it was announced Lube My Johnson ( he actually showed up again all cleaned up with a girl on his arm) was engagged also. Lube and Joann, maybe a new hasher, drank for this. After ordering and eating pizza the group began leaving to go back to their hum drum lives and dream of the next hash. Disrespectfully, Fudge Tracker & Comes After the First Jerk |