ReHash #239A*  Campout Weekend "Scioto Shig Dig Hash"
Date:  Friday, June 14, 2002, 7 pm-ish
Location: Scioto Trail State Forest, somewhere east of SinCity
Hares:  Dah Gimp and Scum Sucking Fecal Feeliac**

A typically motley crew gathered on the plains of Eastern Ohio, deep in the hills of Scioto, to see what Gimp and his trusted sidekick Fecal had in store for us in the first of a trifecta of hashes in and around Scioto Trail State Forest, on Route 23 between Chillicothe and Portsmouth. Nearest town, Alma, next-nearest town, Waverly, if that gives you a feel for the area.  The actual location was a former airfield of mown grass, cleared out of the forest, now used primarily by deer for grazing. The sixth in a continuing saga of summer campout weekends.***

Why, you might ask, were we in Scioto in the first place?  Apparently because Gimp had orienteered there once or twice before.  Throughout the weekend he kept reminding us that when he and Ball Banger had teamed up for a "24 hour Rogaine" -- whatever that is -- that she had bailed after only 11 hours. What a wank!

And speaking of wanks, they were, in alphabetical order, as follows:

Anal Vice
Beat It
Blue Balls
Cums After the 1st Jerk (bragging or cumplaining?)
Hot Tub Slut
Mystic Blow

The Pack assembled in the field, around the campfire, to hear the Hares' instructions.  We were told we would be back before nightfall. RIGHT. Standard SinCity marks, including TP. The promise of a beer-near or two. And the Hares were away, into the woods and across a small stream.  We could easily see them on the other side of the treeline, and watched them run for several minutes along Airport Road before they HEADed deeper into the Scioto Shig.

Because Smegma was home preparing to bicycle the 101.69 miles from Norwood to Scioto (!?) the next day, and because no one wanted to do Father Abraham, we didn't do Father Abraham.  Instead, after what seemed like an eternity but was only eight minutes, the Pack began walking down the field, towards the wooden bridge across the stream, shortcutting in the direction we had last seen the Hares running.  So by 10 minutes we were well along the trail, up a horse path into the forest in search of (a) hares and (b) horses.  We found evidence of both, white blobs from the hares and brown blobs from the equines, but never spotted either in person.

We were immediately greeted with the first of two major ascensions, on-up up up. Then several checks along a trail, then back into the woods, more trail running, a short run in a creek bed and there was the first beer-near, on the banks of a gravelly stream.

I had been shortcutting a bit, hoping to find the wiley hares, but AV 's call of "beer-near" brought me back to the pack for a short respite. Soon we were on-out along the creek, then onto a horse (shit) trail and a false trail into a little cemetery. We ran along a paved road for awhile, then began the second ascension of the day.  I remember Mystic repeating over and over how much she hated Gimp, or that Gimp sucked, or maybe she even questioned his paternity.  Finally at the top we were back onto a trail, and soon to the second beer-near. Then more trail running, which I paralleled on a gravel road and intercepted trail HEADing down, down, down thru man-eating stickers and vines. Maybe they were sticker-vines, it was getting dark and I couldn't tell for sure. The hares, we noted, both had worn long pants, so fortunately the entire pack had done the same, but even so we have the marks to attest to the stickers.  Anyway, eventually we made it to the bottom of the hill, and to a clearing and a small road, lined with houses with barking dogs, which led back to Airport Road, then across the creek and a sprint the entire length -- at least two football fields long -- of the former airstrip to the On-In at the campfire. I remember grumbling about that from several participants. Mystic, was that you?

After the stragglers arrived and Circle was opened the first order of business was to call the Hares into the Circle for some well-deserved abuse.  Various and numerous hare crimes were described, and then the group sang (what else?) "Here's to the Hares."

Because Beck's beer was used at the beer-nears, and because AV (and only AV) knows that Mystic's MGN is Becky, that was deemed a hare crime. Made sense to me. "They're the Meanest." AV did not have a whistle, "What A Wank." I questioned the misdirections sent out by the Hares, and was told they were eventually corrected, so I got a ziggy, zaggy for my efforts. Because Cums After the 1st Jerk had been appointed temporary RA, and because some rain fell, he did a down-down. And a couple other crimes too spurious to mention. Plus, my notes got wet and I can't make out the names or the offenses.

Analversaries consisted of Cums - 15, and AV - 205.  "Get A Life."

Several birth analversaries also.

And of course there were the usual inquiries made as to the whereabouts of Wile E., PO and SCH4nort, but no one knew or cared.

Dumb Ass Announcements were given as usual, including the upcuming SinCity and Dayton hashes and the Nash Hash in Dayton August 23-25. Cummemorative tank tops were available for sale, designed by Butt Digger, Gimp and Yers Truly , with some remaining for those of you who did not attend the campout -- and you know who you are. With that the Circle was closed, May the Hash Go In Peace, May the Hash Get a Piece.

Afterwards we lit the grills and charred animal flesh and it was all good.

Disrespectfully submitted,

Hot Tub Slut

*Editor's Note:  Fecal was filling in as hare for Neon , who had a hair appointment in preparation for a cumpetitive event the next morning in West Milton, Ohio (!?). So for that reason she could not make her hare appointment in Scioto.

**Editor's 2nd Note: Although denominated SCH4 Hash #239A, it was actually SCH4 Hash #251, with #239B being #252, #239C being #253, #240 being #254, etc. Don't ask me, ask BFH.

***Editor's 3rd Note: FYI, here's the list of previous SCH4 campouts:
1997 - Brookville, Indiana
1998 - Eastfork Lake State Park
1999 - Vanceburg, Kentucky
2000 - Big Bone Lick State Park
2001 - Caesar's Creek State Park

Editor's 4th Note:  Gimp issued his usual anal map of the trail, with this Disclaimer: "The Hares were sober when this map was drawn. Actual Hare routes may change due to heavy drinking, police chases, scantily clad Daisy Dukes, or frequent pit stops. This hash may result in uncontrollable itching, ball-scratching, skin loss, belching, and farting. The Hares take full responsibility for assigning the blame."

In other words, as we like to say, No Matter What Happens, It's Your Own Fucking Fault.

Editor's 5th and possibly last Note: It was rumored that Gimp has already begun planning for next year's campout somewhere in western Pennsylvania, no more than 50 miles from the Ohio border. BYOE. Hashers, start packing now. Smegma, continue your bicycle training. Neon, better change your hair style. We've done Indiana, Ohio and Kentucky, let's go for a change of scenery. Then maybe Michigan (Bay City?) in 2004.

Editor's 6th and positively last Note:  Because SCH4nort had promised to hare the midnight nekkid hash, and didn't show, and because Mystic then agreed to fill in, but the rain came, it was -- sad to report -- not held. Otherwise I would have had the full details right here, with pictures at 11:00 and on the web. I did hear that Rusty Prick, Nipple Rash and 1/4 Barrel did their naked fire jumping/dance of the flaming assholes in Bay City over the weekend at their campout, but that's another story for another time. No pictures, please.

HTS