Day 2/ Chapter 2 of the annual SCH4 campout weekend – a long chapter but it was a long day

I’d like to pick up where HTS left off on his day 1 summary of the campout weekend’s hashing fun, but I wasn’t there to see the true blue campers stagger from their tents/hotel rooms (I heard the hotel/motel/roadside sleep stand was FABulous).

As HTS said, I was too busy getting a new “hair” or is that “hare” style for the big weekend to be there for Friday’s fun – after all, I wouldn’t have a hair dryer so I needed a style that was camping-friendly because YES, I, NEON, was going to camp out! OK, so I didn’t REALLY get a new hairstyle & HTS is a liar. But, before you quit reading this chapter, I must include a sidebar here (Slut, is that a legal thing?)….

A great big THANK YOU to Da Gimp for doing such a great job on this campout. Great campsite (no sliding down a hill this year!) – very private, great weather, not buggy, very nice, clean, port a johns (WITH a little sink, soap & towels…..next year try for a mirror with make up lights around it – we harrietes need to look cute even at campouts!). Great trails – thanks to all the hares (especially Fecal for filling in for me)….Gimp obviously put a lot of time into this event and deserves a big hug – I think I gave him one so everyone else line up!

Now, back to my story… On the way to Chillicothe on Sat. we passed Eager Beaver from Dayton, on her way to Poland Park where we were to meet the group. My first impression of Chillicothe was that it could use a good coat of paint. The hares had written us a little love note (hash starts at 2:30) on the ground. I know it’s hard to believe, but I had actually arrived at a hash BEFORE the Hares!!

The group arrived in carpooling style and when I saw some of the nice scratches on their legs I knew they’d had a real shiggy hash Friday or a real cat fight (or maybe something else?!?!?? ) at the campsite. Who was there?

Anal Vice - hare

Da Gimp - hare

Mystic Blow

Tight Box

Hot Tub Slut

Cumin’ N’ Goin’

Cums After The 1st Jerk

Eager Beaver

Tight Sphincter

Smegma

Scum Sucking Fecal Feliac

Blue Balls

Beat It

Neon Knockers

Usual Sin City marks & hares Anal Vice & Da Gimp were off.

HTS decided I (Neon) should be hash scribe (something about not fulfilling my duties at the Eats It Raw/Butt Digger wedding hash because I was busy having my hair dyed red).

(In usual Anal Da Gimp fashion, he provided me w/his minutely detailed trail map so I could talk about their great trail – otherwise I’d skip it. OF COURSE, I won’t go over it in detail.) We zig-zagged through the “sleepy” city (maybe they’d all hashed the day before and had an ON-IN hangover) and I kept asking “Where are all the people”. We didn’t know. Then I asked, “Why DID they move the state capital”…we didn’t know…I didn’t learn a lot that day. Finally we ran by houses where people actually ventured out to watch us run by as the little kids were yelling “hut two, three four”….did we LOOK like soldiers as we maneuvered through the city?

Trail took a turn for the hills and we headed for ‘em – except Smegma who was still delirious from his 90+ mile bike death march up to Chillicothe that morning (5 hours on a bike will do that to you). Smegma ran the other way and ignored our whistles – I think he thought it was still the wind whistling through his ears like on his bike marathon. The rest of the pack climbed through the woods and some really beautiful stickers – we moved carefully, unlike the hares who had the scratches to prove the whole trail was set live. Note: 1^st whining of the day from Mystic about that @#*!!% husband of hers who promised no real shiggy. Our reward at the top was a beautiful cemetery with trail going into one of the little burial buildings (Fecal wanted to know if that was a crime – desecrating the house of the dead with flour but TS ok’d it because it was only in the front room). What a view! Hills all around, giving us a photo op.

We toured the cemetery looking for trail, which eventually took us down a different road where we got confused at a check that took us up steps or down them. Cumin’ N Goin’ checked up but got so busy playing with someone’s dog he forgot about us poor, lost , hot, thirsty hashers, until Mystic went after him and brought him back to hashing reality. We backtracked and found our way down to the city again. Running down a street I heard TS yell “HARE SNARE” and thinking she saw the hares, we took off after her. Turns out she was letting us know the hares had been snared by Smegma – he had a plan after all and HTS was SO jealous that Smegma caught the hares because that’s his job! Smegma hooked up with us (I’m sure he was lost and lonely for us) and we continued our tour of the city.

Through the city, with another photo op at the court house – quite impressive and didn’t need a paint job. And after what seemed like hours and a little whining from Mystic about needing a beer, we found the BN. Sherman Haus - Great bar. I sat down and some old guy at the bar asked about our run…seems he knew we’d be there on Sat. I asked him if this was his place – he said well no, I don’t’ own it, but it’s my place (as in his home away from home). That’s when I went out to the back patio. The owner came out and told us it’s THE hot spot in town, with live music – bands from Columbus (maybe it’s a deal they made….Columbus can be state capital if you send bands down to Chillicothe to entertain us..) They even had this round raised structure that the owner said served as a dance area for the featured babe of the night – he said if the girl was cute they let her stay up there and dance but if not, the guys usually made her get down. I saw Tight Box eyeing it enviously…

On-Out, through town some more…somehwere in here is where we saw the huge piles of wood chips – I understand this is Chillicothe’s big claim to fame. I thought the area around them smelled like another kind of chips (Moo!)..through Yougtangee Park - a nice park on the edge of town where the picnickers watched us make our way to the BIG CANNON surrounded by the silver bullets, which, as you can imagine, provided the perfect photo op. I’m not sure which harriette jumped on it first, but there was almost a fight among TS, Mystic & Tight Box (maybe I’m lying just a little)….No one jumped on the silver bullets surrounding it (maybe they did, but if you weren’t there I can’t tell you. OK, back through town over by the RR tracks as a train is bearing down so we yell to the FRB’s to get off the trestle…(it was a BC anyway) ..a short turn to the left and it’s ON – IN…..much rejoicing & beer cans popping open.

BACK TO CAMP…..Entrance to Scioto Trail Forest is very….woods-y, winding, nice actually.

Circle time: With no religious leader in sight, Tight Sphincter graciously filled in.

Hare Crimes – I don’t remember, maybe none (Hey! AV & Gimp are EXPERIENCED hares…)

Other crimes:

Smegma’s Tour ‘D Ohio that morning
Neon – skipping Friday’s hash & haring to prepare for a cumpetitive event…..when onE cumpetitive hasher drinks…..add in Cumin' N Goin' for cumpetitive event & Smegma for trying to kill himself
Eager Beaver – she turned in herself - something about her garden and mistreating her plants – “I’m thirsty”
Tight Box – Smoking at the On-In and in the Circle (about time!)
Blue Balls & Beat It for doing such an awesome tag team job at being co-beermeisters
Everyone who didn’t drink – Down Down

That’s all I remember …remember, no notes

Birth analversaries – none

Hash analversaries - Dah Gimp - 160, Mystic Blow - 150, Cumin' N' Goin' - 5

Announcements – none we cared about EXCEPT…the Baseball Game/Happy Hour Friday

No gorilla down downs – we’d be dead if we drank all that beer.

Dinnertime!!!!!

GAMES!!!! Tight Sphincter, our experienced game mistress had her trusty

book -o -games and called the hashers to the playground. (Note: when games started, I was busy taking a campout “bath” and can only tell you how funny it was to watch the first game as hashers charge toward all the mixed up shoes trying to find theirs. They’d bend over to pick up shoes, realize they weren’t theirs, toss them wildly in the air and go for the next ones. I think it was funnier watching from a distance than even being there!)

Next game – some form of “Steal the Bacon” only I think it was “Steal the Paddle”…so, hashers CAN be cumpetitive. I thought Smegma and Cumin’ N Goin’ were tying themselves into a knot. Their competition provided some very “scenic views”.

Some lame word game that proves most of us suck at spelling after drinking & running in the hot sun all day.

LATER.….around the fire, we were entertained by Tight Box doing her rendition of some dance she called the “Dirty Dog”??? followed by the umbrella dance and pole dancing…..truly entertaining. Hey Tight Box, if the book doesn’t sell, they always need dancers – there are some great clubs in Newport!

The rain came and went and came and went and so on…..we moved back and forth from the fire to under the canopy so many times I lost track . Naked midnight hash? Can’t tell you….you had to be there!

Slurrage occurred, but NO, not ANAL…it was MYSTIC. And Mystic declared “It’s not a Sin City Campout unless someone gets hurt”…..we’ll have to let her headache the next day count for the big hurt of the weekend.,…..If you’ve read this far, I’m impressed and will just sum it up by saying ….It Was All Great!!! Yours truly, Neon “I love camping” Knockers.