Rehash - Hash # 255 9/21/02
7th Analversary Hash
Hares: Anal Vice & Organ Grinder
Location: A Parking Lot off of Eastern & Kellogg

What a perfect hashing day. Our co-religious advisors Gashole and Vommit Dog have been really lucky with the great weather we’ve had this year on Saturdays….this day, maybe it has something to do with both of them showing up for this really special hash, Sin City’s SEVENTH YEAR ANALVERSARY!! Whoopee! Hurray! Yippee! Yeah!

Well, get a hold now.

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” ….Anonymous

There was no missing who were the hashers in the soccer field parking lot, since everyone was asked to help us celebrate by wearing a hashing t-shirt, ANY hashing t-shirt and even though some of them sported hash t-shirts that looked like they’ve been using them to wash their cars, at least it was a hash t-shirt.

And who showed up to make this a party?

Anal Vice
Beat It
Best Blow
Bloody Maxi Pad
Blue Balls
Body Fluid Hazard
Catwoman
Dah Gimp
Do You Feel Peter
Eager Beaver
Eatapus
Eats It Raw
Famunda
Fudge Tracker
Gas Hole
Golden Showers
Got Crabs?
Gourmet
Hot Tub Slut
Hot Wax Me Off
Melanie NHN Weddle
More Leggs
Mystic Blow
Neon Knockers
Nicola NHN Paczkowski
Organ Grinder
Penis Head
Porkless
Pubic Zirconia
Quarter Barrel
Ralph NHN Paczkowski
Scum Sucking Fecal Feeliac
Shagless
Stinky Winkie
stroX coX baXwards
Sucks But Doesn't Swallow
The Unalicker
Vommitt Dog
Wrong Nut

Chalk talk – the usual – you don’t really care.
OK, trail. Now, I know how much A.V. likes to hear about how much he confused us on trail, but I just don’t take good notes on trail –God knows I’d probably jab my hand with the pen, start bleeding and need someone to take me to the ER….I think I’ll just bypass that – don’t want to go there again. And I don’t really think anyone wants to read about what streets we turned right on, the names of the streets we ran up and down and around, so I’ll just give you some highlights.

Somehow, after we ran up some very steep streets, we ran up a trail into Alms Park and this is where things really got messed up. SUPPOSEDLY….so the hares say when they were snared shortly after this, we missed a BN – CRIME – obviously the hares hid it from us too well. We ran out of the park into a residential area that had 2.5 Range Rovers or Land Rovers or just big SUV’s in the driveways. No wonder I paid $1.56/gal. for gas yesterday…I forgot to mention that the hares were snared by not one or two hashers, but 3 ( a ménage a trois snare?!?)….that would be Vommit, Fecal and Hot Tub. SO we run down a hill, cross Linwood, run up some crumbling steps into a dead end street and the FRB’s take off up a hill, while us smart hashers just wait…..oops, they’re wrong and they come running back down and we go back down another set of steps back to Linwood and FINALLY, a long awaited BEER NEAR at MLT’s.

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza”….... Dave Barry's Bad Habits


This is where my notes look funny – they were left in the bathroom, but found by Mystic and who knows what she did to them in there.

NOTE: At some time during the hash Do You Feel Peter was explaining to me that women CAN learn to pee like men?!?! Ok. I don’t think I want to learn.
About 2 hours later the last of the group dragged themselves over the doorstop into MLT’s just about dying of thirst. Really, we had to carry them upstairs to the patio (NOT the hashers….the BEER pitchers!)

NOTE: Eat A Puss is wearing a shirt that says “Size Does Matter”…I mean, look at him, he’s about 6’5” tall!!!

The rest of the run is just a blur. After all, after the BN isn’t it just all downhill?!? Well, it wasn’t exactly, those sneaky hares threw in a few more hills just to try and kill us before we finally made our way back down to Stanley’s outdoor patio.

Then, you’d think we’d all been on a ten mile desert run. Those pitchers of beer just couldn’t be poured fast enough.

“American Beer is a lot like making love in a row boat- It's f__king close to water!”..…..... Monty Python's Eric Idle

“CIRCLE UP!” And shut up!
Hare Crimes: Hare Snare, WHERE was that BN we supposedly missed?!? 2 false trails tooooo close together, 4 marks on a false trail by the swim club and some other notes I can’t make out.
Pack Crimes: Running some of the trail backwards Vommit, Fudge Tracker and HTS.

·        Latecummer – Unalicker – seems she couldn’t find her caaaaaaa keys (could someone get that girl a speech therapist – she’s lived in Cincinnati HOW long?)

·        Vanity on trail – Wrong Nut, bragging that people watching us run said he was “Looking Great”

·        No Hash Shirt – what’s wrong? You can’t follow a SIMPLE instruction?!? – these shameful people would be Eats It Raw (what?? Your wife designs them and you aren’t proud enough to show off her work??), Unalicker (for covering hers up – learn to be proud of your addiction), Golden Showers (does he EVER even wear a shirt?), Hot Tub Slut (Unbelievable since he has a whole shirt shack in his truck), Wrong Nut (probably didn’t want to wear one so he could be “Looking Great!”), Famunda (NO excuse that you aren’t getting the emails – how could you let that happen? Were you trying to forget us??), Do You Feel Peter and his wife, Melanie(?)…I guess he didn’t want her to FEEL like she was the only one without a hash shirt (isn’t that sweet).

·        Sitting in the circle – I-really-need-a-hash-name-Ralph

·        Deputies for the day- Fecal Feliac and Got Crabs for not doing their job on trail by not reporting any crimes.

·        XXX – for running 22 miles that morning training for a competitive event then being so delirious that she wanted to run some more.

·        BFH – running a competitive event that morning and then cuming to the hash – we miss you!

·        Blue Balls – for using somebody’s mother given name (that’s a crime you learn to avoid in your FIRST hash…haven’t learned yet?)

·        Do You Feel Peter & Melanie (the Mrs.) – having a private party…..like they don’t get to have enough at home

·        Gashole – for his “faggy shorts” – I didn’t say that, I’m just writing what I heard

·        Hot Wax Me Off – losing her centurion mug – should we really trust her with that mug? Shame Waxy – how careless!

·        Neon Knockers – losing the rehash notes in the bathroom

Analversaries:
-Wrong Nut – 5
Porkless – 15
Maxi Pad – 20
P Head – 40
Stinky Winky – 105
Gashole – 115
Vommit – 120
Mystic Blow – 165
Da Gimp – 170
Hot Tub (Get my jacket ready) Slut – 185

GET A LIFE!

Hare Analversaries – Organ Grinder – 15

Special Analversaries:
For being at the first EVER Sin City hash:

P Head
Catwoman Fudge Tracker
Tight Sphincter (NOT HERE!!!)

So, if wonder what it’ll be like to be a hasher after 7 years….(see above).

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut”….... Ernest Hemingway

And today, to commemorate our 7th year analversary, some special awards:

Most Harings overall: BFH
Most Harings this year: TIE- HTS and AV
100% Attendance this year – or at least the most anal about attending: HTS
Most hashes without haring a Saturday hash: Gashole (I hope you’re practicing with your Haring Starter Kit)
Most Famous Hasher – from Red Dress Newspaper article & picture: Vommit
Top 10 All Time Hashers – who still cum: In order…
-Anal Vice (I’m the Grand Master and I HAVE to cum)
-Hot Tub Slut (Look out AV, he’s nipping at your heels)
-Dah Gimp (all the way from Dayton!)
-Mystic Blow (well, when you marry a hasher, what do you expect??)
-Body Fluid Hazard (still visits just to keep his name on list)
-Pecker Checker (NOT HERE – still honeymooning)
-Best Blow (has to cum to make sure AV wears the jacket)
-Neon Knockers (not giving up till I get a jacket)
-Tight Sphincter ( NOT HERE – but she said hashing is her favorite pastime)
-Gourmet (we make him cum so he can take cool pictures of us all sweating and dribbling beer)

8000th hasher: I-really-need-a-hash-name-Ralph

Newest hasher who actually came back: Melanie – wife of Do you feel Peter…she got to pick out a hash t-shirt from HTS’s store...next time, she better be wearing that shirt!

“Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die”- Homer Simpson

AND A GREAT TIME WAS HAD BY ALL…..HERE’S TO ANOTHER 7 YEARS!!
On-On & On-Out…….Neon Knockers.