Rehash: Hash #257
Date: October 17, 2002
Place: Quiet SHHHHHHH! Park, Reading
Hash Scribe: Neon Knockers

Quiet Park…is that one of them funnies? Whatch you call it? An oxymoron? Look at me and my big words and I live in Kintuckee…
Who ever heard of a park being quiet with all them kids hangin ‘round – kids – hashers – what’s the difference?

Ever wonder why we call our once-a month-on-the –3rd-Thursday-hash a “hyper?” After 146 hashes I decided it was time to ask that question. So, I looked up “hyper” in the handy on line dictionary and just in case you’ve been wondering too….

hy·per
Pronunciation: 'hI-p&r
Function: adjective
Etymology: short for hyperactive
Date: 1971
1 : HIGH-STRUNG, EXCITABLE; also : highly excited
2 : extremely active

So there we were, a group of 22 EXCITED, NERVOUS (see high-strung)

(high-strung )
Pronunciation: 'hI-'str&[ng]
Function: adjective
Date: 1748
: having an extremely nervous or sensitive temperament

hashers anxiously waiting to see whose number would be called. Of course, Da Gimp shows up late – but we don’t mind since he drives from Dayton just to enjoy our company – making us a group of 23 (plus Wile E of course!).

Who showed up?

Beat It
Best Blow
Blue Balls
Butt Digger
Dah Gimp
Eats It Raw
Famunda
Fourgasm
Fudge Tracker
Gas Hole
Golden Showers
Hot Tub Slut
Hot Wax Me Off
Kremey In The Middle
Mark NHN Nierling
Neon Knockers
Off Like A Prom Dress
Organ Grinder
Scum Sucking Fecal Feeliac
Stinky Winkie
stroX coX baXwards
The Unalicker
Vommitt Dog
Wile E. Coyote


I’m nervous because I really don’t want to be picked and somehow, after all these hashes, I’ve managed to avoid having my number called (just lucky I guess). Hashers were discreetly checking out trail options (WHICH WAY WILL I GO IF I’M PICKED?!?) and the moment arrives….it’s Golden Showers and we all groan Oh No, not again and we warn him as he high tails it out of there …NO FENCE CLIMBING!!! (Of course, he doesn’t listen!)

Golden was lucky tonight because once he looped us through a few streets and confused us a bit he very smartly took the trail over by the football practice fields with whistles EVERYWHERE and it was enough to confuse the already confused pack. Except for HTS and Gimp we pretty much ran as a pack of frantic hounds chasing that hare, I’m sure we added a little amusement to the Thursday night pee wee football practices (especially for all the football parents sitting there wishing practice was over so they could go home). And then, guess where Golden Showers took us? OVER A FENCE!!! … well actually a stone wall connected to a fence into a cemetery, trying to reenact his night of the puncture wound I guess. We wandered around the cemetery in the dark, gingerly running around the gravestones. Vommit took the lead down one road, with half the pack and the rest of us followed Organ Grinder.

Eventually we ran back out onto the roadway, and things got sort of confusing. On a street behind the football stadium we found Fudge Tracker insisting TRAIL DOES NOT GO THAT WAY I ALREADY WENT THAT WAY!!! But Unalicker, being the sometime FRB that she is…at least when it’s the guys turn to earn the much dreaded first-in-crutch…ignored Fudge and ran off to find Golden. The rest of us stood around and wondered what HA HA spelled out in flour was supposed to mean. It was a new mark to me!

Unalicker caught Golden and took off, looping us around a few streets, running over Golden’s marks because the flour bag was empty (she even hid behind some bushes and scared the pants off of Hot Wax Me Off…..that’s not exactly the way it happened but something scared the pants off Wax and I won’t embarrass her and tell it – but next time, Wax, use the ladies room). End of trail and we all run back to the cars – well most of us…..great run, most of it run as a group EXCEPT for…can you guess? Of course you can, except for Hot Tub Slut and Da Gimp (they don’t really need us for a hash they have plenty of fun on their own)! I think Fudge Tracker was late cumming in too, that’s because he insisted we should NOT follow trail THAT way. While we waited for the last 3 to cum in, there was some discussion about who should get the crutch – BEAT IT! And she threatened to disassemble parts of it to make it more carry-able. We threatened to make her more carry-able.

ON-IN: I forget the name of the bar, but we drank many pitchers and ate the usual pizza and peanuts (courtesy of HTS). Tonight’s circle: Vommit & Gashole forced Scum Sucking Fecal Feliac to be their Hash Monk(?) and run the circle. Fecal rose to the occasion and didn’t even need much coaching (guess he pays attention in the circle).

Hare Crimes: Pee Check?!?! What’s that?
                      HA HA?!?! What’s that?…………..sing..Here’s to the Hares.
Virgins: 1 virgin tonight courtesy of StroX CoX BaXwards…..Mark….Hello Baby! But XXX didn’t instruct him properly and he starts drinking before we get to sing to him and you know what that means…..Ziggy Zaggy for XXX.

More hare crimes which I somehow don’t have written down and Fecal asks Gimp for a song..he can’t think of one!!! It took 3 tries to get a song….”Beer, Beer, Beer, Beer..”.

Pack Crimes: Mother Given Names – Hot Wax Me Off, Unalicker, Neon
Gimp – late cumming (really, is that a crime with him or just a way of life?)
Best Blow - Competitive behavior –as he took off down the street leaving the rest of us in his dust- and when he drank he showed us why he’s named Best Blow.
Kreamy In The Middle – no whistle – really, you can buy them at almost any store.
HTS – false scribing in the Reggae Hash rehash – named Beat it as a Hare

Note: after singing once again, someone comments (I think Stinky Winkie) “We should cut a Christmas album.”

Best Blow: thinking a pile of salt was a flour mark and causing us to lose trail after the first few minutes.

ANALVERSARIES:
10- Off Like A Prom Dress
75 - Scum Sucking Fecal Feliac
105 – Beat It
145 – Neon Knockers

Haring Analversary - Unalicker – 5

Doing competitive events:

XXX – Chicago Marathon
Placing somewhere in the top 50 at the Reggae Run:
Off Like A Prom Dress
Fourgasm
Best Blow

Engagment: Famunda! (I asked her where Curdled Cum was and she said at home watching the kids – looks like this marriage is off to a good start!)

No Down Downs – SURELY they did SOMETHING WRONG!!!
Gashole
Vommit
Stinky Winkie
Organ Grinder (PLUS…no mug with him!)

That’s all folks, gotta go, tomorrow’s a workin’ day………Neon