Why does every hash have to have a "theme" or something about it that requires you to find something specific to wear? Well, today it's to celebrate the Irish in everyone – even if it's just in the beer you drink – and we drank a LOT of it….

I wish I could describe some of the outfits put together for today's hash – but as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words, so why not just check out the SCH4 website photo gallery instead!!! If you haven't visited yet – make sure you do. You'll see all kinds of hashing pictures including pictures for the wearin 'o the green hash. Let's just say our 2 hares, H.T. McSlut and Vommitt O'Dog were so cute in their matching outfits – looks like they spent a lot of quality time putting them together – see – I'm NOT describing them so now you have to go look at the picture gallery – you won't want to miss them! Now that makes me wonder – where does HTS really get all those outfits for Mini-Me? That doll (sorry HTS, but it IS a "doll") has a more extensive wardrobe than I do.

We took off from L.J. Smith Athletic Field, worked our way through a few small side streets and then were on the main drag in downtown Hamilton and before long stopped for a picture check at "Hare's Pharmacy". Hot Tub McSlut gave me a copy of the trail map, but I don't follow maps very well – I prefer written directions – so now it just looks like we went right, then left, then past international paper (Hamilton's claim to economic fame), past the YWCA and YMCA (an equal opportunity hash), through a little park where we scared off all the kids, then across the Pershing Ave. bridge to Veteran's Park where we climbed the hill into the park, had a picture check, then found the Beer in the nearby woods and there was much rejoicing – and drinking – and of course let's not forget the jello shots (guess what color?)

I don't know, it was a long trail and after 3 BN's I think we figured the On-In was a traveling On-In and we'd probably get back around 8 or 9. But just when all hope is lost, and the sun is starting to set, we find a set of long railroad tracks to take us home – so to speak. And what a surprise – with Vommitt O'Dog haring, guess what we found on the tracks – WITH flour on it ……remember the Bring A Virgin & Get Leied" hash…down by the river….the little dead puppy……OH…NOW you figured it out – not a puppy, but some kind of small creature and Vommit covers the little carcass with some flour just so we won't miss it – or step on it. Thanks Vommit.

Hare Crimes:
Not enough RR tracks
Way too cold
Not enough dead animals – no – just about right for a Vommitt trail
Not enough picture checks, BN's, etc. – we had just about enough of everything!

2 virgins today – Andrea & Rhonda – brought by Lube My Johnson and JoAnn

Vommitt – for not only torturing the little dead animal on the RR tracks, but for putting one of the little prized green mugs on it!

Hot WAX Me OFFicer – a darling green dress

Mini – Me – a beautiful green sweater that made him the envy of all the bar patrons

Vommitt O'Dog and Hot Tub McSlut: Green vests (no shirts!), with bow ties and some other crap I can't remember – I do remember (ok – saw it in the pictures) that Vommit had a very attractive "bag" – or some might even call it a large "purse" that he used to carry flour. Vommit was also sporting an enviable bright green sport coat that he wears out to dinner when he's not hashing.

Jump & Hump – went all out with shamrock socks, green shorts, green checked vest and a hat you just have to see to believe

Lube My Johnson – a really well styled red wig

And there were green t-shirts and green shorts and green beads and green stickers – everywhere – green, green, green. And then there was the BEER – way too much and way too green and we all went home feeling a little too green……………………….