60 years! Let's see, that means he was born in 1943 (see, all those college math classes I had to take really helped – not that I use much math in the marketing field, but at least I can calculate really BIG numbers).

Here's what was happening when little Hot Tub Slut entered this world screaming his lungs out:

Allies defeat Germans in North Africa.

Jews launch anti-German uprising in Warsaw Ghetto.

Allies land in Sicily, later Italy.

Italy surrenders to Allies, Mussolini deposed.

Germans occupy Rome.

Famous people born in 1943 – well, only 2 whose names you might recognize:

Randy Newman (Songwriter – just in case you were born in 1980 and don't know)

Janis Joplin (Musician – again, just in case you don't know or have been living on another planet)

Being as it was a hyper hash – guess who was RANDOMLY chosen as the hare? Why of course, it was the B-day Slut. And off he went with his little butt cheek smiling at us through the slit in the slut's shorts.

"Clifton is not one of my favorite venues--due to two one-way main streets, both running in the wrong direction from wherever I am to where I want to get (which is usually OUT of Clifton) and no parking, and where everyone who graduates from UC goes on to take their revenge by getting in the tow truck business immediately upon graduation. 

After Slut's B-day Hash, I now have more reason to fear and loathe the place.  I determined that Clifton exists in a time and space of its own dimension.  Not quite the Twilight Zone, but pretty dang close. From the characters we passed on trail, to the owner and proud inventor of the shit-in-potty game, I 'd call it a cross between a Fellini Film and a Woody Allen Movie. More Characters, in order of their appearance: There was the guy in all yellow--not his clothes, but his skin (which is a sign of liver failure, so he's  possibly an ex-Hasher) shouting us on "go, go, go", as loud and as rapid as  machine gunfire.  Not the only startling figure we encountered.  How about the guy leaning out of his front door, which was missing a screen?  Couldn't be sure, but I think he was naked.  My favorite scene was entering the parking lot (of a Park?) where a half-dozen student drivers--and sorry about the bad driver stereo-type here, but--non-American born Asians, were running over orange cones in an attempt to learn how to park.  Ironically, they will not be able to park in Clifton--so what's the point? No Hashers were lost in the bizarre mayhem only because of our intelligence and agility, dodging cars to get to the beer-near. Finally, there was a girl (I think IT was a girl) sitting on a bench, with a Parka zipped up past her face--literally to the top of her head.  Then there was this really old guy.. oh yeah, that was Slut.

Thanks Tight Box!!! You really should hash more often – now, if the weather would cooperate and the location would be suitable and….anything else???

After that description of our Clifton trail….need I really say more? OK – let me get my yellowed notes out (yellowed with age – get it – 60 yrs – ok, shut the fuck up Neon and get on with it).

About 3 minutes into trail we hit – surprise!! A BN! As Best Blow said "I haven't even worked up a sweat yet". An interesting little place – combination bar and snack shop (something unsettling though about those things floating in jars.). AND speaking of things floating….as Tight Box mentioned – there was a little game set up out back – I'm sure the inventor – the bartender - has applied for a patent - for the "Toss The Plastic Shit In the Potty Game". The plastic poop looked a little too realistic – something dog owners are all too familiar with – but our Vommitt DOG – now that's appropriate – said I ain't afraid of no plastic poop and no dirty old toilet (well, I think that's what he was thinking). ANYWAY, he played the game and entertained us all while the pitchers were downed. But we had more entertainment at the BN as Baby Ball Barrister decided to hop the fences and play on the neighbor's trampoline – I guess it slipped his legal mind where we were, and that he could be arrested for trespassing – he'd have to get a lawyer – oh, well, I guess he could get the B'day Slut to defend him – imagine the kind of case those 2 could put together.

The rest of the trail was filled with the typical Clifton stuff – as mentioned above in Tight Box's recap – a few hills, On Her Knees announces to the hashers "That building is where I lost my virginity" – (the first time if you count hashing), a tour across the UC campus, past a few homeless people zipped up for the night and to the amusement of all, the hashers were out in force to celebrate that special day for the B'day Slut.

Then back to Christy's Beirgarten so we could celebrate with more beer – much to the enjoyment of the other patrons – mostly college kids, wondering if that's what happens after you've been out of school a few years and are forced to become responsible and work your ass off just so you can drink beer and sing stupid songs (or do we drink beer and sing stupid songs to forget that we have to work our asses off just to pay the bills and take one or two vacations a year so we can get away from the work and drink more beers). Hmmmm.

The Hares:
Hot Tub Slut aka B'day Slut
Lube My Johnson
Fudge Tracker

Pubic Offender (once again opens his mouth when he shouldn't have): "I thought HTS was so flaming when I first met him"

Vommitt (always quick w/the comeback, puts PO in his place): "Then PO asked for Slut's #"

And they say GIRLS are catty!!!!

Baby Ball Barrister is renamed (Did we?) because of his trampoline act during the BN & says"I always wanted to join the circus!"…his new name – Bouncing Baby Ball Barrister - 4B.

An unbelievable occurrence tonight – the crutch, usually given to the FRB (bitch one week, bastard the next) goes to SCH4nort Me…etc. – that has to be a mistake – oh I see – she gets it for constantly whining on trail about seeing Gimp (I don't get it – do you?)

"Get on your knees SCH4nort" - notice I spelled your name right this time?
"When 1 "on her knees" drinks….all On Her Knees drink….
"Take off your top ", says Vommitt
The Bouncing Baby Ball says, " When 1 female hasher takes her top off…." …..they're still there waiting for that.