June 19th 2003 RE-Hash 285 ¤

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
-Dean Martin

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
-For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit." Here we were in Covington, KY for another exhilarating hyper!!! It was an overcast day, cooler than it had been all week. I pulled up in my trusty Honda with the jerry-rigged mirror. Needless to say, I fit right in. I was a little concerned about the parking situation. I counted 7 signs, stating "unauthorized vehicles will be towed." HTS assured me that our cars would be fine. Even so, I was a bit hesitant. With my history, who wouldn't be?

With the help of On Her Knees and the back of Vommitt's truck, I was able to patch my blister up so that I could run tonight.

Fudge: YES! I did shave!! Thanks for checking!!

Dingleberry: Loved your lady bug underwear. (Special) Do you have any with dragonflies? Can we see those next time!!!!

Kremey: Glad to see I am not the only one who runs into poles!!

Fecal: Thanks for the peep show in the parking lot!!

TS: Yeah. I am so glad you came out to play with us!!!

The pack started to assemble in an orderly manner. The following hashers came out to play:
Anal Vice
Beat It
Best Blow
Butt Digger
Diane NHN Thompson
Dingleberry
Eats It Raw
Fudge Tracker
Got Crabs?
Gourmet
Hot Tub Slut
Hot Wax Me Officer
Hyper Hand Job
Kremey In The Middle
Kunt Hunt
Little Boy Blue Balls
Neon Knockers
On Her Knees
SCH4nort Up The Ass
Scum Sucking Fecal Feeliac
Stinky Winkie
Sucks But Doesn't Swallow
The Unalicker
Tight Sphincter
Two Pricks and A Pussy
Vommitt Dog
Wile E. Coyote
Wrong Nut

Diane (NHM) was chosen to randomly pick a number from the hyper bucket. "Is that an 11 or 17"? Yeah HTS, what is it? Of course I had to chime in and declare it to be a 17 only because I thought I might have been the 11th person to sign in that night. Well, my oh my, who could number 17 be?

Hot Tub Slut (again), "I promise it was not rigged."

"He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin."

The Pack waited and waited until it was time. "On-Walking" north towards 9th street. Then east on 9th towards Madison. We crossed Madison and continued on 9th up to the railroad tracks. "Don't come up here, Vommitt is peeing," shouted The Unalicker. Why were you looking? Some day I will be an FRB!!!

Then we HEADed (who said head) south down some street running parallel with the railroad tracks. That is where we lost Sucks But Doesn't Swallow. She decided to HEAD (who said head) back to the cars. She had a funny feeling about the parking lot. I don't blame you Sucks.

Knees and I continued following trail with the help of the neighborhood kids telling us which way everyone was running. We came across some people who had very scary dogs (pit-bulls), a drunken man asking us what we were doing, and a woman looking for her lost Pomeranian. Note to woman: check with the pit bulls.

Once, we got past all of the distractions, we decided to outfox the hare. We went off trail looking for a little hare-ass. We came upon this bridge that overlooked the railroad tracks. We saw Kremey, Una, and Kunt Hunt running down below. Still, no sign of the hare. Now, I know what you are thinking, "SCH4nort stay on trail," but I really want to snare a hare!!!

We ran some more, up and down Madison and Scott Road. Still, not one sign of a hare. We did come across Kremey who informed us that Una had taken quite a tumble on the tracks. Thanks to Dr. Gourmet, who poured BEER on Una's leg for an antiseptic, we did not have to amputate.

We (Kremey, Knees and I) gathered back at the starting area.

What a shock to find out that Slut was snared by Fudge, and Fudge was then snared by Slut. Get a life!!!

The pack then HEADed (who said head) up to Derby Café. Oh my, what an interesting place!!!!!!!!! I think I need a lung transplant. Oh my, the smoke was so dense you needed fog lights to make your way through it. Yikes. Oh my the men, the men were chalcious!!

AV: "Circle Up"

Vommitt: "Were there any crimes?"

Hare Crimes: Slut and Fudge - Shitty Trail

Hyper Virgin: Diane NHN - Why Was She Born?

MIA: Wrong Nut and Hyper Hand Job - They're All Right

More Hare Crimes: Slut and Fudge (the hares) drank for a civilian making the statement "Old guy running like a bat out of Hell"
Slut drank for being the Hare twice.
Slut also got a Ziggy-Zaggy for bragging that he was once the hare 4 times in Northside.

Other Crimes on Trail:
Best Blow: He actually ran in shorts tonight. I prefer the diapers!!!!
Blue Balls: False accusation (accusing Kunt Hunt of blowing a boob check)
Fudge: Laying a boob check near the end of trail (when one hare drinks, all hares drink) – Do Your Balls Hang Low?
MGN: Vommitt, SCH4nort, and Wrong Nut – Song?
Competitive Events: TS, Waxie, Fudge, Slut, Best Blow, Fourgasm – Song?

The Crown: The Unalicker – The Kitchen Song
Una was whining because Fudge sent her into a strip club to pee.
DRAMA QUEEN!!! And you call me a drama queen!!

Wile E. Coyote: Kremey in the Middle – Song?
Kremey in the Middle is now taking care of Wile E because he showed up tonight only in his underwear and Kremey has been guarding his clothes since the Preppy Hash at her apartment. Since it's obvious he's been spending time over there…..

Analversaries: Get A Life
Stinky Winkie 125
Vommitt Dog 135
Best Blow 165
Neon Knockers 170

Haring Analversaries:
Hot Tub Slut 45

Birth Analversaries: Happy Birthday, F%$# You!!!
AV – June 26
th
Beat It – June 25th

Mug Check: Best Blow, Eats it Raw - Balls to Mr. Banglestein

Whistle Check: Wrong Nut – The World's Shortest Hash Song

AV: Gave a re-hash of the last Mis-management meeting

Dumb ass announcements: The Usual next Dayton Hash, Next up for Sin City. Check the bulletin board

The circle was temporarily closed: May the hash go in peace. May the hash get a piece. We don't want women with good taste, we want women who taste good. AND WE DO!!!

Well there you have it folks, another adventure in Sin City!!!

Hash love to everyone
ON-OUT
SCH4nort Up the Ass!!!!!!!!!

Ps. If anyone can find and tell me the definition of the Yiddish word in this re-hash they will receive a prize!!!

Good Luck