I'd be chipper, and I'd be cheerful,
If my stomach had a beerful,
'Cause I've only half a brain.

With my arms and legs akimbo,
I'll be chasing after bimbos,
Through mud, thorns, and rain.

I'll be making lots of passes,
As I fondle all their asses,
'Cause I've only half a brain.

Chorus: I'll do down-downs till the keg begins to spit,
Then I'll fire one up and take a little hit,
I'll impress the women with my charming wit,
As I shout out, "Show us your tits!"

Then my beer I will be sharing,
With them as their breast they're baring,
Our urges unrestrained

Oh, our language will be rude as,
We exchange bod-i-ly fluids,
'Cause we've only half a brain.